The Late-In-Life Writer: Did you say Love? - February 10, 2025
We most likely think about love more often in February because of Valentine's Day.
But what is love exactly?
Can you name the different types of love?
Can you guess how many there are and when they were identified?
The concept of love goes back to Greek philosophers. I will name them (in no particular order) using the Greek terms:
1 -" Storge" love is familial. It represents parent and child(ren) bonding starting at birth. The goal is to create a sense of safety and support. This can include siblings and long-term friends who feel like family. (C, E) Within the concept of Storge/familial love, is where terms like Emotional IQ and, in particular, the parents' emotional IQ will fall into play.
2 -"Philautia" is a healthy self-love. You learn to recognize your value and what is necessary to respect, accept, and appreciate who you are, and set those guidelines for others in your life (F, D)
3-"Philia" is the love that develops between friends. It is a bonding based on trust and understanding. Also called "brotherly love," our friendships become important to our development and emotional IQ over the years. (E)
4 -"Ludus" is playful love. It usually starts as a flirtation and is often the starting point of a romantic relationship to "test the waters" of something more long-term. (A, G)
5 -"Eros" is romantic love. There is physical attraction along with the development of understanding each other.
(E, D, G)
6 -"Pragma" represents long-term love and relationship with commitment and dedication. It is a mature love. (A, C, D, E, F and can include B, and H)
7 -"Agape" love is unconditional love for everyone in any situation. (H)
8 -"Mania" love is codependent and not genuine. The focus is on another, but the goal is to fulfill one's own desires, which become distorted and obsessive.
(A, B, D)
A Developmental Approach to Love
Although I said I was listing these types of love "in no particular order," I did take a developmental approach, starting at birth. As parents in a chaotic world, it is easy to see how one can lose sight of what children need to develop healthy relationships and learn about love. Children learn by example, meaning what they experience. Their environmental influences will directly affect their emotional IQ as they grow.
As a parent, the goal is to raise a healthy and happy child to adulthood. As Albert Schweitzer wrote: "If you love something so much, let it go. If it comes back it was meant to be; if it doesn't, it never was." When families share love, children will always come back.
These terms are oversimplified. We know the complex issues that go into a "loving environment," teen exploration about who "loves" who, and what it takes to keep a loving relationship going for years. These factors can be elusive and change based on many issues (emotional, financial, stress levels, and more).
I wish you love!
Halina
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