Oct. 1, 2024
When something comes up, be it personal / family or school/community that is important for the kids to talk about, what do you do? Do you address the topic on the same day? Do you wait for the kids to bring it up? Do you ignore it?
The one that I'm thinking of is the most recent school shooting. I can only hope you never have to contend with this type of disaster in your schools (in your parenting lifetime). When something as horrific as this happens it affects us all. The impact on children can be devastating, even at a distance.
Children need a safe time and place to discuss their feelings.
If you, as a parent, are having difficulty handling this topic, imagine how the children feel. I would encourage you to invite them to talk about school shootings. This can be done one-on-one with you or as a group with all your children. But I will caution you to set ground rules:
Rule 1- Everyone is entitled to their feelings. No one can be made fun of for what they bring to the discussion. The discussion should be age-appropriate.
Rule 2- If your child says they don't want to talk about the event, ask them to listen to their sibling's thoughts or yours if this is a one-on-one. Ask each one (yourself included to be as honest and give heartfelt input).
Rule 3- Ask if they feel safe at school and if not, what can they (and you as a family) do to make changes?
Rule 4 - Helping children learn to express their feelings is developmentally important. This is considered their "Emotional IQ." There are many studies on the topic that provide proof that this contributes to success as they grow. It is a parent's job to nurture this part of their overall well-being. Here's a wonderful article about Emotional Intelligence in Children for reference.
If this seems like an impossible task for you, try asking other parents how they start this conversation. But, please, do not ignore a difficult topic. If nothing else, it will help you grow further in your role as a parent. Please don't leave this up to the school to help your children alone. Learn what your children are feeling.
I don't envy the topics parents need to prepare for in this day and age. There are no wrong answers from a kid's perspective regarding their feelings. These discussions can be opportunities for you to increase your bond with your children.
I wrote my last book when COVID closed everything down and kids lost the ability to interact daily with peers. Developmentally, that had a huge impact. Sadly, we have many topics to address when it comes to our children. This book covers 11 different topics. I hope you will consider getting my book and working through it with someone you love: You Can't Make Me! Only I can change how I feel.
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